Night turtle

Pets in sunglasses

Just be cool.

Mac users are pompous asses

I know. I am one. Bite me.

This video is satire, but not by much.

Hating on the air conditioner

I love a natural summer breeze. I do.

But the latest slam on air conditioning as a hedonistic luxury fires me up.

Here's one of the leading proponents of the pie-in-the-sky ideal that we should go back to sitting on the porch of an evening with Andy and Aunt Bee:

A couple of weekends ago it was in the high 80s here in Kansas. I was in my living room with the ceiling fan going, and I thought, man, it’s really nice in here, so I went and got a thermometer, and it was 84 in the living room. I had an aunt who was always trying to economize and would keep her windows shut up and her air conditioning on 80 degrees, and that was utterly stifling. You just couldn’t exist in that kind of environment, but if you have no air conditioning and plenty of ventilation and air movement, it’s comfortable. Warmth in and of itself is not bad at all. It can even be quite enjoyable.

The high 80s, huh? Wow. Steamy. Have you been to inner-city Dallas in August? The Mississippi Delta in the summer? Hell, the American Midwest can melt the roof of your mouth onto your tongue during certain summer days.

So, mister-my-old-aunt-is-a-fool-for-using-air-conditioning, shut the fuck up.

Air conditioning transformed Southern life. The television did more to bring Aunt Bee and Andy off the porch than having a livable temperature inside ever did.

As for your silly aunt, she might be alive today because she relies on air conditioning rather than a box fan. Old and sick people succumb to the heat. As in die.

Top 10 American cars of all time

Askmen.com lists 'em.

I AM crazy 'bout a Mercury.

Heavenly mashup

Sporcle.com has a quiz combining all that Bible-thumping indoctrination I underwent as a child with one of my favorite present-day amusements--LOLcats.

Oh. my. lord. Check out and play "You can has Bible books?'

My favorite clue:
Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleeves him u wont evr diez no moar, kthxbai!

And jesus god, folks on the interwebs are translating the entire Bible into LOL speak.

The first verse in the Good Book:

Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

I blacked out briefly from laughing right then.

Night music

Some Mary Chapin. For that jammin' JCatt.

And don't call me Shirley

Friday is the 30th anniversary of the movie "Airplane!"

The "I speak jive" clip

A mash-up of "Looks like I picked the wrong week to. . ." moments

The "Ethel Merman" scene

The trailer

Oh, noes. Lesbians in the womb

On one hand, bat-shit crazies say homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. On the other, they're treating pregnant women to prevent lesbian babies.

Nothing like having it both ways, wingers.

Oh, the places you'll go. In your Chuck Taylor shoes.

My favorite kicks, with a Dr. Seuss twist. Perfect.

On a kitteh tear. I am.

Why dogs are man's best friends, but cats still kick ass.

For gawd's sake, lose some weight, Timmy.

I'm going home.

We can rebuild her

And they did. After an accident, a cat is given bionic back paws.

Give it a rest, DEA

The "War on Drugs" sucks. And it's stupid.

This youtube video runs the numbers on why.

Because I'm just this nice to help you out

Re: my "clit" post:

A woman explaining the wonders and the wiles of the clitoris, et al, on youtube. With visual aids!

Vulvita Las Vegas.

Clit, schmidt

It's time to tell it like it is, sports fans.

Pornography is ruining sex for the young single girl, this writer opines. At least those of the het persuasion.

Hold forth on lesbian bed death. Note that women in general have a lower sex drive than men. Observe (oh, please do, so I can go to the corner and, um, contemplate) that it takes longer to bring a woman to orgasm than a man.

But also acknowledge that many, many, many men can't locate the clitoris on a sex-organ map.

The blogger above sez porn is part of the reason why.

Mid-afternoon kitteh

Dame Helen again

Apparently it's Mirren Week on the interwebs.

She's in a new movie with Bruce Willis, Mary Louise Parker and Morgan Freeman. A movie about retired CIA agents jonesing to get back in the business.

Helen Mirren with a Gatling gun. Oh. My.

Here's the trailer.

BP oil spill reenacted by kittens

This one-minute video pretty much sums up what's happened and is happening in the Gulf.

'The perils of lesbianity'

Hilarious.

Puppeh

Don't be cheap.

25 years of hot girls

Esquire lists who has rocked our summer world for the last quarter-century.

Dame Helen

Helen Mirren teases and tantalizes with her best physical assets.

Not bad for an old lady. Not. Bad. At all.

Diapered and dancing

This baby has a future in dance. If nothing else, he's going to draw the ladiezzzz.

Vintage National Park posters

National Geographic showcases a collection.

Small-town South recruits Jewish families

The Atlantic chronicles Southern Jews' attempts to draw more Jews to their areas.

Large Southern cities have traditionally had sizable Jewish populations. But I figure the majority of residents in places like Dothan, Alabama, would have a primary reaction to more Stars of David in their midst. You gotta suspect Southern Baptists will show up on the door steps of Jewish households with welcome-to-the-neighborhood banana bread. And a New Testament so they can convert the heathens to Jesus love.

Popcorn kittehs

Three minutes of zen, set to ragtime.

You ma'am, are welcome.

Ohio hates our Lord and Savior

The statue in Monroe, Ohio known as "Touchdown Jesus" has been struck by lightning and destroyed by the resulting fire.

"Damages to the King of Kings statue and the theater were estimated to be around $700,000, said Monroe Fire Chief Mark Neu.

No one was injured in the blaze."

Except for, you know, JESUS.

Carolina on my mind

North Carolinians are pissed at a liberal blog for equating their state with South Carolina. They have a point.

While both states claim the football shorthand "Carolina" (and I assure you this is VASTLY important in the South), some Tar Heels wish not to be associated with the territory that kicked off the Civil War and today harbors the most vicious racism in the Union.

I've lived in North Carolina (I almost typed just the word "Carolina' because I am indeed partisan and partial to the area of which James Taylor sang) and agree that Durham/Chapel Hill is just about the most moonbat liberal place on the continent.

And Asheville, in the Appalachians in the western part of TRUE Carolina? It's so lesbian friendly that some drop the "A' and just call it "Sheville." Get it? Sheville. Eh, law.

Saddest country song in history

Doug Stone recorded it in 1990.

Doubt me? Here's the chorus:

I'd be better off in a pine box

On a slow train back to Georgia

Or in the grey walls of a prison doing time

I think I'd rather die and go to hell and face the devil

Than to lie here with you and him together on my mind

Night puppehs

'Manners for the modern lesbian'

Some answers to the asinine, age-old questions women who like women hear about every day.

And beer time too

A Colorado micro-brewery gets top billing.

"I got your Fat Tire right here" sounds deliciously vulgar, dudn't it?

Bourbon season

Here's a guide.

Oh, noes! Whites soon to be outnumbered.

I think this helps explain the Tea Party nutters, Sarah Palin, and the undercurrent of anger--particularly in the South--that a Nee-gro is president.

"The Census reported Thursday that nonwhite minorities accounted for 48.6% of the children born in the U.S. between July 2008 and July 2009, gaining ground from 46.8% two years earlier. The trajectory suggests that minority births will soon eclipse births of whites of European ancestry."

Do right by these men and women

I am sickened but not surprised to hear that the military again can't or won't help those who wage our wars and come home maimed.

A blogger chronicles traumatic brain injury, which looks to be Agent Orange all over again.
"It's obvious that we are significantly underestimating and underreporting the true burden of traumatic brain injury," said Army epidemiologist Maj. Remington Nevin, who has served in Afghanistan and has pioneered work to improve the documentation of TBIs and other brain injuries. "This is an issue which is causing real harm. And the senior levels of leadership that should be responsible for this issue either don't care, can't understand the problem due to lack of experience, or are so disengaged that they haven't fixed it."

Night music--from "Grease"

I saw the movie five times at the theater back in the day.

Rizzo ruled my world.

And so did Ms. Newton-John.

"You're the One That I Want"

One of the greatest opening credit sequences in cinema

One-hit wonders

This is my favorite of all.

Here's the complete list.

Your moment of zen. With kittens.

The pale ginger fellow in this video slays me.

Ode to Billie Joe

This song came up in supper conversation last night.

Yeah, that's the kind of company I keep.

But Bobbie Gentry's "Ode to Billie Joe" is one of the greatest story songs of all time.

Night kitteh

That'll show 'em

Be careful what you wish for, this video hilariously says to gays pining to marry.

Roger Ebert says what matters

Ebert has lost his voice to cancer and likely is not long for this world.

But the movie critic has found a way to poignantly and eloquently say what matters through his writing.

Here he expounds on the most recent stupidity out of Arizona and wonders whether racists are born or made.

"One day in high school study hall, a Negro girl walked in who had dyed her hair a lighter brown. Laughter spread through the room. We had never, ever, seen that done before. It was unexpected, a surprise, and our laughter was partly an expression of nervousness and uncertainty. I don't think we wanted to be cruel. But we had our ideas about Negroes, and her hair didn't fit. Think of her. She wanted to try her hair a lighter brown, and perhaps her mother and sisters helped her, and she was told she looked pretty, and then she went to school and we laughed at her. I wonder if she has ever forgotten that day. God damn it, how did we make her feel? We have to make this country a place where no one needs to feel that way."

Two moms make a right

Children of lesbians appear to be more well-adjusted than their peers, study says.

This blogger comes up with one reason why.
" These parents were recruited because they were about to undergo artificial insemination. This means that in every case, these children were brought into the world because they were wanted and planned for. None of them are the product of a drunken tryst in the back seat of a Chevy. These mothers had to investigate options, invest money, and really want to become mothers. This alone can account for the difference."

'Samantha Bee explains the world'

She's the best correspondent on "The Daily Show."

Here is my favorite Bee story--a report on a man who civilly protests by pooping at city hall. The last minute is priceless, I promise.

Top ten bohemian metros

Here they be, according to the Martin Prosperity Institute.

Night music--John Prine

An art exhibition I saw yesterday reminded me of dumb-ass W. And this song.

John Prine wrote "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore" during the Vietnam-War era.

But the idea that patriotism equals blind obedience to the government was a hallmark of the Bush administration.